[1-2] Q&A

[threedimensions]

Dimensions: [1-2]
Timeline: February 2017
Title: Q&A
Summary: Transcript of the interview with Mark from Jakob Carper of Bright Stars.
~2.5k




JAKOB: So how you doing, Mark?

MARK: Just...fucking...ducky. Why?

JAKOB: Because—sorry, man—you don't look too good. Seems like maybe all of this has gotten out of hand, huh?

MARK: You're not kidding.

JAKOB: Have you been sleeping all right? You look tired.

MARK: Well, I am tired. Of being tired.

JAKOB: Not getting enough sleep on the bus? Having the room must be nice for tonight.

MARK: How'd you know I was here?

JAKOB: Sources, man. Is sleeping on the bus hard because of the little bunks? I've seen a few pictures of some of those. No thanks.

MARK: It's not bad. I sleep a lot there. I'm just tired of people...people asking me too many goddamn questions, is all.

JAKOB: Is it particular questions that are bothering you, or the sheer quantity of them?

MARK: Both. It's—it's the same shit, and all the time.

JAKOB: What are the ones that really bother you?

MARK: All of them. Ones that are about...ones that don't have anything to do with the band. Don't have anything to do with now.

JAKOB: The past can be painful.

MARK: That...was beautiful. Wise. Excuse me while I write a poem.

JAKOB: Any spontaneous poetry aside, am I wrong?

MARK: No. No. Maybe it can, but this—this isn't the past. This is now. I'm tired of people...I'm sorry, but it's not anyone else's business what happened in the past.

JAKOB: You don't have to be sorry about that. I happen to agree with you—it's your life, and your relationship, and your business.

MARK: Yeah. Well, no one else seems to agree.

JAKOB: What does Brandon think about all of this?

MARK: I don't...fucking know. He doesn't tell me every last little thing he thinks. Everybody is so weird with how they think things are.

JAKOB: Have you talked with him a lot lately?

MARK: Not really.

JAKOB: Does it feel awkward between you two now? I imagine with those pictures...

MARK: We don't. Don't talk about that.

JAKOB: What do you talk about?

MARK: Like...uhh...rehearsal, or when something we're supposed to be doing is changed.

JAKOB: Oh, like appearances and your set list?

MARK: Yeah, and interviews. Is that what this is?

JAKOB: It's—

MARK: I was just saying, a lot of people can't leave the past alone and keep asking the same questions about private shit, even though it doesn't matter. But you're asking questions about the questions, so now I don't know.

JAKOB: Informal. Informal interview...just two guys, bullshitting about whatever.

MARK: That's bullshit. Who's on first? Is it me? What's my line?

JAKOB: We don't have to talk about the past if you don't want to.

MARK: Man, you should just, like...leave me alone.

JAKOB: No problem, dude. You want me to go, I'm gone. Oh, hey, you want another refill while I'm up?

MARK: Oh. Uh...yeah. Okay.

JAKOB: JD is prime. Have you always been a whiskey man?

MARK: Yeah, I guess. It's what I always liked best. Beer's fine, but this is better.

JAKOB: Sure, definitely. What's Brandon like best?

MARK: He's half-Russian, what the fuck do you think?

JAKOB: That maybe he was also influenced by his non-Russian parent? And that alcohol preference probably isn't genetic?

MARK: Yeah, thanks professor. His dad likes beer. He doesn't really like beer. Ice. Vodka. Water. Splash of Sprite.

JAKOB: Did you and Brandon used to drink together a lot?

MARK: No, not really. Sometimes. Not a lot. Smoked, mostly.

JAKOB: Do you think that played a part in what happened?

MARK: I don't know.

JAKOB: Do you wish it hadn't happened?

MARK: I...

JAKOB: Or at least that the pictures of it hadn't happened?

MARK: Oh yeah, definitely. Definitely. It's not that I wish it never—it was never anyone else's business, and now everyone knows and just wants to know more. Well, guess what. Fuckin' spoiler alert? There isn't any more. The end. Like five goddamn years ago.

JAKOB: I'm sure something like that can change your whole life around.

MARK: Yeah. Great. Thanks, Captain Obvious. What are your other powers?

JAKOB: I have a few, but they're secret—which, trust me, I get the irony. Did it change your relationship with Brandon much, while it was happening?

MARK: No. No, it was all the same.

JAKOB: It was easy and natural, being with him?

MARK: I dunno. I guess. It was fine, just—no, nothing changed. It didn't have to. We still—we still hung out and played music and all that shit. Whatever. It was just. Also that.

JAKOB: And it was pretty frequent, huh?

MARK: I...don't know? I didn't keep a tally?

JAKOB: Your ex-girlfriend who released the pictures has done a couple of interviews—have you heard any of that at all?

MARK: No.

JAKOB: Ah, yeah. She's talked a little about those times, I think even giving a timeline and answering questions. I'm not for sure to what extent, though, so don't quote me on that, haha.

MARK: Not surprised. She thinks she knows fuckin' everything, so.

JAKOB: Mm. I am pretty sure that she commented on the frequency, though, and said something about it being a couple of times a week. And then, sometimes toward the end, without her even there.

MARK: ...is there a question in that? Why are you even asking me questions—didn't I ask you to leave?

JAKOB: Yeah, sorry man. I got up and got distracted when we were talking about JD and beer. Love a cold beer. You want another refill? That bottle looks pretty good for a while yet.

MARK: Okay.

JAKOB: Here ya go. Looks good, might make one myself—you mind?

MARK: Knock yourself out.

JAKOB: Literally, huh? Ah, yeah, that's not bad. So, I was thinking about what your ex was saying. That whole thing—it was started as, like, a voyeur thing, right? Her idea, she was there to watch?

MARK: I guess. I dunno. She kept talking about how, like, some guys try to get their girlfriends to make out with other chicks for them to watch.

JAKOB: That...is an interesting take. Either way, you were all adults, and you were all consenting, right?

MARK: I guess.

JAKOB: I just mean that it was something all of you actually wanted to do.

MARK: Yeah. I guess.

JAKOB: So you would go over to her place, then call Brandon, and he would come over?

MARK: I dunno, man, why do you care? I don't...fuckin' understand why everyone cares so fucking much about it.

JAKOB: I don't in the sense of judging—consenting adults, whatever. I'm just curious that if you say you're still straight—which you have, a bunch of times—

MARK: So. Many. Times.

JAKOB: Mhm, and hey, you'd know, so I can respect that. I'm just wondering if it started and happened not necessarily because your girlfriend wanted to see, but because it was something you already wanted, and that little push from her helped make it happen.

MARK: I don't know, man. I don't know how many more times I have to say this shit. I didn't think about it like that then and I don't now.

JAKOB: Okay, yeah, sure. You mentioned how nothing changed between you guys while it was happening—and probably not after, huh? If you were still really close friends after it stopped, and you still have been all these years.

MARK: I guess.

JAKOB: So you love him?

MARK: ....

JAKOB: You know what I mean. Of course everyone loves their friends, and you guys have had the band for several years now, too. But it kinda seems like...maybe nothing changed because what you two had was already different. Maybe that's another reason it happened, or that you wanted it to? Did you already love him, even then?

MARK: ....I have no fuckin' idea, man. You seem to think you know all of the everything too, so why don't you just answer yourself?

JAKOB: Nah, man, I'm not trying to talk for you. Just thinking it might have gone that way. That maybe you did kinda have feelings for him then, but had to bury it down for a while and just be friends...and now that those pictures came to light and you're reminded of it everywhere, you still do?

MARK: ....

JAKOB: Do you think that it's possible? Subconscious, but now it's out in the open. I think it probably is in theory, for some people. So maybe you really were in love with him all this time? Maybe even almost the whole time you've been friends—since you were, what, sixteen or seventeen?

MARK: ...I dunno.

JAKOB: And that...if you really look at it...is how you feel about him different than 'just friends'?

MARK: I guess.

JAKOB: More than 'just friends'?

MARK: ...yeah.

JAKOB: So...you're in love with him?

MARK: ...yeah.

JAKOB: Do you think—

MARK: Man...man, I could've sworn I told you to get out.

JAKOB: Okay, man. It's your call to talk.

MARK: I don't understand why the fuck everyone wants to know anyway. It doesn't affect the band. It's...separate. I'm separate. And so was all—any of that. Past. It didn't change because it didn't fuckin' matter.

JAKOB: I think a lot of people would say it's been affecting the band. Everyone knows you're in a bad place, and you seem to be pretty depressed. Some of your fans on Twitter are saying that it's clearly visible during your concerts.

MARK: I'm not depressed at concerts. I'm not really depressed at all, I'm just...it's stress, okay? Those fucking pictures...those are in the past. But everyone else can't let them go, that's not my fault. I didn't ask for it to be brought up. In fact I would really appreciate everyone shutting the fuck up about it forever. It can even be my birthday and Christmas presents.

JAKOB: People are concerned about you. Your fans can see that you're upset—anyone can see it.

MARK: I'm not...upset. Do I look upset?

JAKOB: People can see that you're depressed; that you're sad.

MARK: Oh yeah? Good thing that isn't mostly caused by being hounded every goddamn day.

JAKOB: You said you love Brandon?

MARK: ...whatever. Thanks for proving my point, though.

JAKOB: Sorry. I had a point. Does he know? What you really feel about him?

MARK: No. Pretty sure not. Which is probably good.

JAKOB: Does Brandon—

MARK: Which also means, that, like...dude. I keep telling you to, like, leave, and you keep...not doing it.

JAKOB: Sure, I can go, no problem. Or I can order a pizza. You hungry, man?

MARK: Nnnn...yeah, a little, actually.

JAKOB: What do you want on it?

MARK: I don't care. No green peppers. They're too fucking green.

JAKOB: Sure. I can order right here on my phone. You want anything else with it?

MARK: No.

JAKOB: ...Okay, all ordered. It'll be here in about twenty minutes. You want another refill?

MARK: Sure. Why not? I've just been told I'm depressed, so I'm a little upset about that.

JAKOB: Do you think that, if the circumstances were right, you'd like to talk to Brandon about all of this, maybe see if he feels the same way? Maybe see if you could be together?

MARK: No! No. I don' wanna do that. I wouldn't—that's stupid. I'm not that stupid.

JAKOB: You would rather see him with someone else?

MARK: He's already happy with someone else. I'm not...I don't—I wouldn't fuck with that.

JAKOB: Do you talk with Brandon's current boyfriend a lot? Jack Landon, Anchor Games?

MARK: I know who he is.

JAKOB: For the transcript. Do you talk to Jack—

MARK: Transcript? Why are you trans...scripting?

JAKOB: To make sure it all gets down right, without missing anything or misquoting anything. So do you talk to Jack a lot? He's on tour with the band right now, right?

MARK: Yeah—no. Not a lot. I don't talk with anybody a lot.

JAKOB: Especially not Jack? Do you not get along with him?

MARK: No...he's okay. And he thinks I'm okay. Pretty sure. Can't feel him but it's fine. He taught me how to play chess.

JAKOB: Recently?

MARK: A little while ago. Europe.

JAKOB: Ah, so on this tour? That was nice of him.

MARK: I'm not allowed to call the king and queen Pointy Man and Boss Lady.

JAKOB: Shame, that fits. So there's no rivalry there?

MARK: Fuck, of course not? I'm an adult and not an idiot. Well. Besides the obvious idiocy. I have actually realized I am pretty stupid in some regards.

JAKOB: So you don't have anyone to really talk to about all of this?

MARK: Not really.

JAKOB: Not a different friend, or—

MARK: I never said I wanted to. I want people to sop...to stop...talking about it. It's nothing. The entire thing was fucking nothing, it didn't matter.

JAKOB: Does Brandon think it was nothing, too?

MARK: Oh shit, Captain Obvious falls flat. What the fuck do you think?

JAKOB: Am I demoted to Lieutenant Obvious?

MARK: Sure. Dismissed.

JAKOB: All right, I can take off, maybe after a little of that pizza that's coming? It did look good. I got the works, no green peppers.

MARK: Green peppers are shit.

JAKOB: You like other peppers? Or just not green ones?

MARK: ...I don't care about peppers.

JAKOB: I might like another for the road, if that's okay, too? Want me to grab you another one while I'm up?

MARK: I don't care what you do.

JAKOB: Cool, thanks. Here you go. I only have a couple more questions.

MARK: Thank fuckin' Christ. Why is it always your turn to ask questions? Maybe I have some questions.

JAKOB: All right, what do you want to know?

MARK: I want to know...why I have to answer questions.

JAKOB: I don't think you do, actually. You can, if you want.

MARK: You're wrong. I've said I don't want to talk about things...I actually have said some things...and then, someone else asks me the same fucking question again.

JAKOB: I got lots of different questions. Does Brandon like green peppers?

MARK: I—what? I don't fucking know?

JAKOB: Shit, my bad, you did say you didn't care about peppers. I'll respect that. How about...do you think maybe, if he knew about your feelings back when it was happening, things would be a lot different now?

MARK: ...that's a stupid fucking question. I think I'm more than done with your questions shit, man.

JAKOB: Sorry. Pizza should be here soon. Can I ask one more serious question?

MARK: No.

JAKOB: Just stupid questions.

MARK: No! What the fuck, man.

JAKOB: I feel like making statements only is a lot of guesswork, and no one likes inaccuracies.

MARK: I can make a statement. Tell everyone to stop bothering me about that shit. That's all I want, all right? Then I can fucking sleep.

JAKOB: I thought you said you were getting a lot of sleep?

MARK: All I ever do...is sleep. But it's okay. Whatever. Really. I don't have to think then. About him, or...whatever.

JAKOB: ...yeah. Okay. You wanted me to go, man?

MARK: Yeah. Go and leave me alone. I don't need to be pushed into thinking about him all the time. Okay? Do I really have to, when everything's like...? All the goddamn time, really?

JAKOB: No. No, man, I...I'm sorry. Look, I'm gonna go, all right?

MARK: Uh huh.

JAKOB: That pizza's paid for. When it gets here, try to eat some of it, okay? You don't look like you're doing a lot of that lately, either.

MARK: I'm not hungry. I'm hydrated.

JAKOB: Try to eat some anyway. Then maybe go to bed.

MARK: You're not my mom.

JAKOB: Don't drink any more, okay?

MARK: How'd you think I got so hydrated?

JAKOB: You'll get sick and then you'll feel worse.

MARK: Ah...you're a prophet too. You really got it all, man.

JAKOB: ...I'll see you later, Mark.

MARK: Whatever.